Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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