i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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