I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
