Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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