Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm really busy with my period
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