She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
