All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
