I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
