I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
