I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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