did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
