He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Buhtt sex?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
