sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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