what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
