I cockslap morals
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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