Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
