She said her name was "party"
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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