new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
