is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
