i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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