So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just want to make out with him forever
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
