I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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