well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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