it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
