No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
