Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
