do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
