its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
