Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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