grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize