My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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