The brown eye won't let me do that either.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
