i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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