If i come over, it means nothing
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
