p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
