All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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