She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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