I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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