Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Actions speak louder than pants.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
