I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
