worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize