i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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