i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Are my feet made of real feet?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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