i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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