somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
