covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she smelled like a LAN party
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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