I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I can't turn off my feet"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i believe in u and ur pee
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
