Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
