YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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