Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
