I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
