very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
