omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize