Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
