also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
tell me about the eggs
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
