But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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