i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
