As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
