i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
