I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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