So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
