There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
